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confession

Remember that time I kept bringing up my ex, and how in “love” I was? Oh, like, here and here. Well, even though I still believe he should be considered an EX, I’m embarrassed to finally admit to myself that the “relationship” was never nearly as serious as I believed it to be at the time. And by “never nearly” I mean like not at all.

I can count on one hand the number of times I actually SAW the Ex in the year that we, for lack of a better term, dated. Four weekends, to be specific, not counting the two weeks we spent abroad as part of a group. That and sporadic Gchat convos on the order of a few lines several times a week for a year. As for phone calls, they were so rare that I actually felt OVER THE MOON when we had like-for-real conversations chatting on the phone. Why did I think this was a relationship and that it had the potential to become something real??

Even though I feel like a fool for having made up something in my mind that was clearly a dead-end fling or whatever it was, I can only breathe a sigh of relief that it’s over, and that I didn’t do something completely inane like move to the city where he lives. And, I’m happy to report that the fauxmance was definitely a case of temporary mind-cloudedness; I’ve met several interesting guys in the last few months that I’m enjoying just getting to know, without like, pretend-dating them.

Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking a casual relationship was something more? Tell me!

To say that I’m “done” with online dating is a bit deceptive, considering I never even met one guy via my four rounds of OK-I’ll-try-meeting-guys-online bouts. And most recently, I sifted through about 25 messages over a period of two months and sent exactly ZERO responses.

Online dating is just NOT for me. I’ve moved on from the Ex (capital “e” to denote that I’m talking about my most recent ex), so it’s not an issue of dating discomfort. I just feel uneasy about agreeing to a “date” with someone I’ve not interacted with in person. And the more I hear about men in the New York City dating scene – like hearing that many, if not most, if not all, go in for a kiss on the first date [I’m not a prude but eek. NO.] – the less amenable I am to saying yes to this setup.

Anyone else thrown in the towel on online dating?