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Monthly Archives: February 2012

To say that at 28 years old I’ve learned not to waste time on a guy who’s not clear in his interest and not actively pursuing me would be COMPLETELY true. As in, I’ve totally learned that lesson. Put it into practice? Umm…

Yeah, so there’s no point trying to pretend I’ve not sunk to the depths of patheticness when it comes to this guy. (He’s not even worth a cute nickname. Jerk.) We’ve been off and on for over a year now, but it’s definitely time to pull the plug. Because, this last time, he made actual plans with me for this weekend (we don’t live in the same state and he travels a lot for work, so advance planning is a necessity). Three weeks pass, not a single word. No response to two in-the-meantime texts I sent. (I SEE YOU LOGGED IN TO SKYPE!)

“Let me know that you’re still coming!” I wrote in a very pleasant, very passive-aggressive email. Because, you know, weekend guests need to be planned for. Food bought. Place cleaned. Work schedule adjusted for airport-picking-up.

No response.

Four days later, beginning of this week, my Saving-Face-Email (still pleasant, even more passive aggressive): “Hey, since I didn’t hear from you I need to assume you’re not coming, because now I don’t have enough time to get ready. Too bad! :(” (Sad face is the ULTIMATE in this one-sided exchange’s passive aggression.)

NO RESPONSE.

I am pissed at him, at THIS, at myself. I’m beyond disgusted at myself right now. So, desperate measures requiring dire circumstances, I’m giving up any and all contact with this guy for Lent. I figure that a 40-day period should do away with whatever warped bond I feel to this guy who’s been stringing me along for a year now.

Maybe not the holiest of goals… But I’m not Catholic anyway, so whatever.

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Let’s all, singles and couples alike, breathe a collective sigh of relief. Valentine’s Day has passed.

Ah. That feels good.

(See what I did by NOT posting a scathing review of Cupid’s day yesterday and waiting till TODAY? Take that, you little cherub.)

Let me explain. See, even the times I’ve been dating someone during the holiday, it was always…awkward. I like gifts just like the rest of us, but I never knew quite the reaction the guys expected when they gave me a gift, chocolates, flowers, or whatever. The guys always looked hopeful, and let’s face it, they kinda have a lot of pressure put on them, if not by their own girlfriends, by the collective of girlfriends. So…is a sweet smile enough? No? Like, do I have to…squeal? I think some guys need squealing. But me…I can never DO emotions on the spot under pressure, even if I totally feel them, so I almost always disappointed.

And then there was the pressure to give a gift in return. If you think choosing a Valentine’s Day gift for a girl is tough, can we say IMPOSSIBLE MISSION for getting something for a guy?

I just don’t see how this is a win-win except for totally genuine, know-what-to-buy-each-other, and know-how-to-properly-react-or-even-squeal couples.

I think it’s definitely for the greater good that all this post-New Year’s buildup to Valentine’s Day is done, and that engagement season is over. (No really, I heard this on the radio. There’s an engagement season.)

Single people can stop overdramatizing their loneliness and hating their friends with so-disgustingly-cute love lives and marriages. (I say this with, ahem, some empathy.) Unhappy couples can drop the act. Happy couples can continue being disgusting without totally flaunting it in their gushing Facebook status updates…(well, we can hope). And those who aren’t QUITE in a relationship can relax, because there’s no longer that big heart-shaped elephant in the room and on their date with them.

No matter what our relationship status, let’s all carry on and return to our normal states: complete and utter certainty about where this is all going.

Let’s admit it: Valentine’s Day – OK, Valentine’s WEEK and much of February leading up to it – can  be rough enough if you’re single and feeling particularly sensitive about it. (Like, ahem,  I am for example.) The one thing you wanna count on is your fellow single girlfriends. Well, have you heard this one before?

Girls who tell you they don’t wanna commit to an all-gal Valentine’s dinner/plans because they’re waiting to see if the guy they’ve “sort of” been seeing for a few weeks will suggest plans. Therefore, she doesn’t wanna make tentative plans with you. Better count her out because she would definitely cancel on you at the last minute anyway.

All I can say is: lameballs. Total effing lameballs.

Have you ever noticed that married coworkers LOVE giving unsolicited relationship advice? Especially the guys. Especially the ones who’ve been married longer. (And on another note: is EVERYONE over 30 in New York married, or is my workplace an anomaly?!)

I just hope no one asks me if I have plans for Valentine’s Day. It’s just something that I expect awkward people to do. When did this holiday get to the point that single people have to pretend to love the holiday so they don’t appear bitter? Can’t a single person hate it as legitimately as many non-single people do?!