Like you DON’T ever check out the love/relationships/sex section at Barnes & Noble? Pshh, yeah right. None of us has gotten the whole love and dating thing figured out (and if you have, please divulge!), so a little self-help never did any harm, right?
Ever since making a little ol’ New Year’s resolution back in 2010 to figure out my next love-related move post first-real-relationship-breakup, I’ve been completely devouring the self-help stuff. Do I ever put any of the stuff into practice? Well, not really! Everything out there is quite contradictory, so it would be pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to implement all the tips. And, as I’ve talked about earlier, I think it’s dangerous and silly to stereotype gender-specific behaviors and actions.
Just remember these 3 things when reaching for your next (very addictive for the most part, I must say!) self-help treatise into this thing called love:
1. You are reading these books for FUN. Unless you’re a university student doing research for a thesis, I really don’t think these books should be taken with anything but the tiniest grain of salt.
2. Try to refrain from comparing anecdotes of couples in the books to your own life and relationship(s). No matter how strikingly similar. There are a million little details that go into the fine print of one relationship to the next, so it’s really unhealthy to compare literally.
3. Learn from what you read, but don’t take it as science. I like to think that what I believe (or what I think I believe, anyway!) is a hybrid of tidbits I read and things I experience…but that’s always secondary to the reality of a current relationship!
Here’s what’s on my reading list right now:
The Case for Falling in Love by Mari Ruti
Spousonomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb
I’m in the middle of the first one, and the next will soon follow. I’ll report back!