5 Reasons to Try Online Dating

Thankfully, the ‘taboo’ and stigmas surrounding online dating courtesy of sites like Match.com or eharmony.com are things of the past. I don’t know what the stats are, but at least half the happy couples I know met online versus the traditional route of through a friend or at an event.

When do you know you’re ready to take the plunge? I don’t think you HAVE to be willing and ready to commit to something in order to try it. Atfer all, it’s not marry-me-tomorrow.com for a reason. Is it deceitful to not know what you really want? Some might say so, but then again, where has knowing exactly what you wanted gotten me thus far?

1. You Keep Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over
No matter what the mistakes are, the only way to break old patterns is by doing, by taking some type of action. And getting to know people you’ve just met in a no-pressure environment of a first date can be really good for bad-pattern-breaking.

2. Everybody’s Doing It!
I’m not talking about peer pressure here. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to sign up for an account to support a friend who’s taking the plunge and needs some solidarity.  Even if you’re still weirded out by what might be a new concept for you, think of how much easier it will be when you’re not choosing photos and writing out profiles solo.

3. You’re Becoming Cynical
What’s the LAST thing a newly single or longtime single person likes to hear? “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” HATE IT!  I mean, really, no one likes to hear trite sayings. But, well, if you are starting to frighten yourself with the bitter comebacks you hear echoing in your mind or with how despondent and teary-eyed you’re getting listening to sappy love songs, maybe it really IS time to see what’s out there. And if you find out that there really aren’t plenty of good fish to go around after all? Well, at least you can back up that cynicism or despair with facts!

4. You (Sort of) Know What You Want
OK, this kind of contradicts what I said earlier…but I wouldn’t jump into the online thing unless you are certain about some things you absolutely won’t compromise on. Are you looking for something casual or serious? Even (especially?) if you’re somewhat unsure, tread carefully!

5. Money Isn’t an Issue (or an Excuse!)
Online dating can be as expensive as a monthly gym membership…i.e. really not that much considering what you might get in return. If $30 bucks is too much to you, you probably just aren’t ready to take that step. And if your coworker or mother offers to pay that monthly fee for you, well, now you REALLY have no excuse!

No, I’m not venturing into the online world…yet. At least, not that I know of. (Although one of my colleagues has threatened to set up an account for me. True story.)

Tips and input about Match, eharmony, etc., welcome!

  1. Skank Tank said:

    Are you sitting there with my auto-biography next to the computer? Funny story (as usual). Few people know this is how I originally met my ex-husband. After a long, strenuous damaging four-year relationship that ended with the discovery of my partner cheating on me nationwide via Plentyofish.com(check it out, the dirty bastard is probably still on there! Username: Lilliskier; and stay as far away from that man’s genitals as possible) my friends decided enough time had passed to give me a small “parting gift”… it was that of a one months subscription to e-harmony (ha ha ha). They thought I should be classier than him and use a legitimate website meant for relationships as opposed to the “wham bam thank ya ma’m” website my gentleman caller was on.

    So my adventure into online dating began. At first the guys I met were nice and we usually hit it off pretty well but there was always one or two things off about them and by the end of the date it didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out what it was they were really looking for: a NSA relationship that they could keep on the hook for a while until they were ready (if ever) to settle down. Some of these guys were legitimately nice and I like to believe they were looking for the real deal but most of them were anywhere from 15-20 years older than I was. I should have expected as much, I was only 21 when I signed up. I grew weary and expanded my limits to include the whole country and thus brought me, well lets call him Brett (name changed to protect the moronic). Bretty-bear was overly attentive, sweet, kind, lived in Wisconsin while I was in Jersey and unemployed but had just signed to join the Navy.

    Now there were a combination of things that made this relationship go wrong but I think the most deadly was the combination of the “this must be love because a computer says its so” and the “i’m deploying in a year… QUICK! latch on to someone!”

    My experience and poor decisions may have ended in disaster and for the time being I’ve certainly shyed away from the online-dating scene, but I have heard so many great success stories and people who did use the site properly I hope all of you reading this who do decide to try it make wise decisions and use it as the tool it was meant to be used as.

    so theres my rambling two cents.

  2. Pam said:

    Ugh! 😦 Yikes, 15 to 20 years!! And I do wonder at dating sites’ methodologies for matching one person to another and how accurate they really are!

    Love your stories, as always!!! I’ve heard a lot of success stories too…incl. one of my best friends.

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