I won’t call my friend K’s matchmaking that I mentioned Sunday a fail. First of all, and this is why I love her and forgive her—it wasn’t really a setup. She and I went out to a local pub and the guy and another girl friend of hers met us there. There was no awkward “this is the person I told you about” moment, thank goodness!
It’s not that the guy was a jerk or unattractive. My reaction was just “eh,” even after carrying on a few exchanges with him. The other girl whispered to me at one point, “My friend likes you. Do you think he’s cute?” I shrugged and that was that. A no would have been a lie, but a yes would have given the impression that I was interested in some sort of progression—and I wasn’t.
Not a red flag in sight, but I couldn’t fathom why K would think I might like him. (I totally love that she tried though!)
In case some more dear friends consider matchmaking for me, I figure I should outline some general guidelines:
If you aren’t attracted to him, don’t assume I will be.
Seriously. I mean, type shmype. Attraction is attraction. At the very minimum, I expect you to consider the guy a total catch!
No je ne sais quoi? Um, non merci!
Call it whatever you want—charm, a certain something… But I’m attracted to guys with an element of mystery that I get to see come alive, gradually. There are some people you meet and you just know that what you see personality-wise is what you get. All the time. Boring!
Looking for something? Sorry, I don’t work at the lost and found.
Anyone openly and actively looking for love around every nook and cranny is NOT for me. Some people are, and that’s cool–I guess. But right now, I can take it or leave it and if I even get a hint that there’s a vacancy just itching to be filled, my fight-or-flight instincts start going crazy.
Which leads me to the #1 caveat:
I don’t fall fast and fall hard.
I’m open to possibilities of commitment, but not at all craving it (not the way I crave sushi on a daily basis). It doesn’t mean I want something meaningless, just that I’m gonna take my sweet time figuring out if a guy is what he seems to be. If a guy is used to a girl falling in love and going gaga and call-each-other-daily-ish in anything under six months to a year’s time—I’m NOT your girl…
And oh yeah: I’m a sucker for dreamy eyes.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best at reading people at first impression. What major qualities and indicators should I keep an eye out for?