Game Changer: How I Went from Romantic to Skeptic

"If you really wanted to screw me up, you should've gotten to me earlier." – John Cusack as Rob Gordon, "High Fidelity" (2000)

Great skeptics are made, not born.

I’m what you might call a Reformed Romantic. The hearts-and-initials, crush-crazy, silly girl who needed to get a grip? That was ME in high school and college!

So how did I end up here, avoiding love/relationships like the plague? Well, I’ve gleaned the following over my five years post-grad:

#1: I make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. (So much for wisdom.)
Ever notice how when you meet someone and hit it off, BAM! you’re careening toward commitment every inch of the way? Yet when the dust has settled we look up and wonder, What was I thinking???

#2: I have no idea what I want.
Am I alone in this? All my love-at-first-glimpse experiences have turned into disasters. I consider the whole “Know Thyself” thing to be a foregone conclusion…except when it comes to my type…whatever the hell that is!

*Case in point: The top dealbreakers that sealed the end of my last serious relationship were ALL things that I knew going into the relationship! Infatuation is a dark, dark cloud.

#3. Being engaged is a fast-moving train that takes superhuman strength to stop!
Not that the momentum’s a bad thing—if love is what’s driving it. But I’ve literally heard otherwise-intelligent people soothe their doubts like so: “Oh well, we’ve already put in so much time. Maybe it’ll work out…”

I was never engaged, but it was talked about—it was just a matter of time. After witnessing a friend’s post-engagement fiasco, I knew I had to end the relationship I’d become complacent in BEFORE it got to that stage. Because I didn’t know if I had that superhuman strength…and I was scared to death of just accepting complacency.

BUT I don’t want my skepticism to turn into cynicism…so there’s only one logical next step: I’ve decided to sell myself. Wait, not like THAT…for charity.  More details in my next post!

Do you trust your judgment or do those rose-tinted windows fog your relationship savvy? And seriously, is there ANY better answer to all life questions than a John Cusack movie?

  1. Lisa said:

    I wish this were on facebook, I would ‘Like’ it 1,000 times. Totally understand where you’re coming from. Look forward to more posts! 😉

  2. Pam said:

    thanks Lisa and Wendy! 🙂

  3. Monica said:

    Umm. I couldn’t agree more! I’m just like you in so many ways it’s actually starting to scare me a little ;). Can’t wait to see which charity you sell yourself to! It’s a start…and better than nothing.

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